...I run into another wall! You don't have to read...I'm just writing to release myself! However...I know there are my awesome friends out there who do read this and I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart and thank you SO MUCH for your continued friendship in my ups as well as my downs. I wish I can hug each and everyone of you and look you in the eyes to thank you personally to show my gratitude. I will be posting again as I have...just maybe more sporadically as I go to the home and try to seek some answers.As this saying goes..."Be who you say you are.. and say what you feel .. because those that matter, don't mind ... and those that mind, don't matter!"
So yesterday we all went to visit my mom at the convalescent home she's in and here I am rushing to her room to have my little one who's missed her SO MUCH finally see her "tita" and be able to hug her and what not and it took me a bit to see my mom was not my mom...AGAIN!
Let me back up a bit...
so I walk into the room and she's sitting there eating and I yell..."Mami" and she looks up and looks back at the food. So that kind of threw me off and then I grab my little one to give her a kiss and after my little one kissed her...it wasn't the reaction I was expecting...it was as if my mom didn't even miss her. It was just like the good morning kisses they share...not the kiss and hug I expected after not seeing each other in over a month. From then I started to suspect something and so I started talking to her...asking her how she was and what not. Then she starts telling me to call Lupita...a friend we haven't heard of in YEARS who moved to Texas. She started telling me that Lupita picked her up the night before to take her to a party at her house and that she fell there at her house and that's how she ended up in the "hospital". She doesn't even know where she is!!! Let me just tell you...it was 2 hours of torture on all of us seeing her think she was at home...eating popcorn...trying to clean up confetti... I'm sure you get the picture!
I did however ask her if she remembered us and she did...quite well I may add. Oscar even asked her if she knew who he was and she did...first AND last name she said...so then him being funny asked her what kind of beer he drinks and she answered him..."stop being silly...you know I know you drink Bud Light"...we laughed at her response because it was so dead on...lol...but still that worry in me doesn't let my brain rest. It's like a non stop playback of what went on...
I asked the nurse there if he could tell me what was wrong and what kind of medication she's on and he was very rude...he couldn't even look me in the face to tell me that he couldn't talk to me because it was my mom's right!!! I was like BS...she's my mom and I deserve some answers! So I spoke to Social Services and she was MUCH kinder and spoke to me to keep me at ease and that when the doctor is there to see my mom...she'll be sure to be there and ask him my questions. Then she takes us to the nurses station to speak to her nurse...I though OH CRAP...this @$$ again...and yet again he was a turd! She asked him MY questions and when answering...he didn't have the common courtesy to speak to me or even look at me...he had to pass the answers thru her...even she thought it was ridiculous! She said she would speak to him in private and took him away. Turns out he CAN'T tell me anything because my mom signed some papers when she was OK to think for herself that said she was in her right mind to make choices...WHAT??? She NEVER signs anything to where SHE can give her OK...I always make the decisions! Freakin' frustrating! Well...it turns out that since she had a catheter in and was in the hospital for a month that he's sure she caught a UTI and that's causing her delirium.
I'm going Monday to have a meeting with the doctor who's gonna be there and I'm making my list of questions because I wanna know...that if Medical & Medicare are gonna be paying $5,000 for the month she's suppose to be in there...that they're doing SOMETHING to earn that money. In all that time we were there...none came in to check on her or change her diaper. When we left though I told the nurse to please check her diaper and that if she has a UTI...that she needs more attention to that. I was OK to see that was done...but after I told them to. I'm gonna have to order some tests be done on her...even if I HAVE to pay extra for it or get the dirty looks from the nurses...but I'm gonna make sure my mom isn't driven to delirium and is able to get the HELL out of there safe and sound.
It's no wonder I don't like those places...I never have and NEVER will. I don't care if it costs me my sanity...but I'm gonna have to be there until their last days of life. Seeing those poor old people lined up against the walls just sitting there like zombies on wheelchairs really freaked me out! The video I saw of that place is NOTHING like what I saw for myself. I may even have to report it because the restroom in my moms room was dirty and didn't smell sanitary. GOD I wish I was rich to have someone come to the house to care for her in the condition she is right now. Then maybe I'd know for sure she was on her way to recovery and could see the chances myself. Hopefully I'm just getting ahead of myself and she does a turnaround and is at least able to communicate in a sound mind. But in the meantime...this poor folk will have to put up to a point in how her care is given.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your patience with me and most of all...for being there. May our Lord bless you and yours every single day and keep you under constant love and care.
13 comments:
Here I go again ,Gabby.. HUGE HUGE hugs to you. It's so hard -I know,I've been there too. That "nurse" sounds like what my son would call a total donkeyhole. All that HIPPA (patient privacy) BS is just an excuse for some caregivers not to be bothered to share any info with you. It's so important to have medical power of attorney for our parents just so you can get some answers in situations just like this.It's like a catch 22 when they become confused because then they REALLY do need for you to be involved.
I'll keep you and your mom in my prayers.
OH Gabby, I am sorry to hear that the tone of your posting is so distressed and frustrated. Bless your heart for being such a caring and concerned daughter, first of all. That takes so much focus and effort, combine that with raising your own family, and taking care of dad, you are so incredible for your dedication!
With that said, I too have always been a bit hesitant when it comes to homes although there are many superior ones out there (or should I say "$uperior"). If anything is raising a red flag though, then chances are you are feeling this all for a reason. Is there any way you can bring mom home earlier with a home health care nurse? Or even find one privately who could barter with you? I do hope you get answers very soon, as I can tell that this is quite a heavy load on your shoulders. Take your time with all of this, I am a lifelong fan of your work and I am not going anywhere. Huge hugs to you adn the family~
oh hun, i am so sorry you and your mom have to go thru all this!!!! Big HUgs to you!
Oh Gabby I'm soooo sorry for all the pain and heartache. I'm very glad to see you stand up for yourself and protect your family. I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say. I hope your mom gets better and very quickly and can go home away from that place.
Gabby...You and your family are all in my prayers.
Angel Hugs...Bobbie
I hope the Lord rushes your mom's health to a great state so she can come home! YOU know your mom and YOU know how she should be treated. Don't let that place get away with doing a half-ass job. They are getting paid for your mom being there to help make her HEALTHY not to just keep her in the bed with a UTI! I wil lkeep praying for you all and keep your head up. You are only given what you an hande, so I know you can handle this.
I sure hope that you can get the answers and help for your mom that you need. It must be so frustrating to be in the position where you are almost helpless to do anything with so little cooperation from the people that are supposedly your mother's caretakers.
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers,
Hugs,
Vicki
Gabby, I sure do hope you can get the answers you need to ease your own mind, I know it won't ease till she's safe at home with you, but do try and take care. We are all thinking about you and your family.
Hugs Cindy
Gsbby,
Your strength continues to amaze me! I will be praying for your mom as well as your family.
Hugs to my Sistah Ho.
Robin
I'm sure it doesnt feel like it but you are one seriously strong woman. I know how things can pile up on your shoulders but hang in there. I hope your mom is able to come home soon.
Keeping you all in my prayers. I was so frustrated with that nurse when I read your post I just wanted to slap him.
Fingers crossed she will be well enough to come home soon so you don't have to deal with any more crap from them.
Love Ya
Hugs
Nic
Gabby, My FIL did the same thing when he had an bladder infection.. After being on meds to clear that up he did so much better.. I hope your mom comes through it soon..
Renee
Gabby, hang in there. I am so sorry that you are going thru all of this. Dealing with doctors, insurance and such can be so frustrating. I hope things get better.
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