...is the hardest thing to do especially when it's a parent...and that's just what I have to do.
My mom passed away on Friday the 19th at about 4:55 pm. We will be laying her to rest on Saturday the 27th at Queen of Heaven cemetery in Rowland Hills, CA.
She went into a cerebral coma on the Tuesday after she went into the ER due to her liver bleeding way up into her brain and then began having seizures on the left side of her brain so my sister and I had to do the hardest thing we had to do...but that my mom wanted...and that was to "pull the plug" to let her go in peace. We got the family and friends together at the hospital Thursday night so they can say their final words to her and ask for forgiveness if in any way they offended her or anything like that...and Friday morning when my sisters kids came from Arizona and we finally had the courage to take my dad to say good-bye...she left peacefully and without pain. One final seizure took her as she tried gasping for her last breath. We all think she was waiting for my dad to arrive to be able to go home to Jesus. Finally that bad seizure took her once my dad finished speaking to her and took her last breath.
It's so hard to be writing this as you know how happy I was my mom was home after being away from us 2 months...but I'm so much more at peace right now arranging everything that has to be done to send her home. My sis and I just got back from getting her clothing and what not to take to the funeral home...it's still hasn't really sunk in...but I know Friday and Saturday will be the hardest. Just yesterday I went with Oscar to pick out her headstone and sign papers at the cemetery and see her final resting place and I was experiencing a nervous attack on my left side and my face was twitching and my heart was hurting...same side my mom was getting her seizures.
I wont get much more into it so I wont break down crying and get ill...the hardest is yet to come and I need to try and stay strong not only for myself and my kids...but for both my brother and sister who weren't there like I was.
As for my dad...his oldest daughter from his second marriage is taking him to live with her now which is sad he'll be gone...but it's also a GREAT thing she did. Of course when she said it as I was preparing my mom's clothes...it hit me hard and I started crying and what not because first I lost my mom and now my dad? ...but after some realization and not to mention calmed nerves...I knew it was the best not only for him...but for me as well. Now I can take care of ME and my kids and DH like I should be.
So until I can once again bring myself to stamping and what not...I'll be gone. Right now I need some rest so my body and mind can come together because my mind is far behind my body. I pray to God for the strength I need to help me get through all of this. My main thought right now is moving out of this house because the painful memories are everywhere. One day at a time though...one day at a time...