6.21.2009

Saying good-bye...

...is the hardest thing to do especially when it's a parent...and that's just what I have to do.


My mom passed away on Friday the 19th at about 4:55 pm. We will be laying her to rest on Saturday the 27th at Queen of Heaven cemetery in Rowland Hills, CA.


She went into a cerebral coma on the Tuesday after she went into the ER due to her liver bleeding way up into her brain and then began having seizures on the left side of her brain so my sister and I had to do the hardest thing we had to do...but that my mom wanted...and that was to "pull the plug" to let her go in peace. We got the family and friends together at the hospital Thursday night so they can say their final words to her and ask for forgiveness if in any way they offended her or anything like that...and Friday morning when my sisters kids came from Arizona and we finally had the courage to take my dad to say good-bye...she left peacefully and without pain. One final seizure took her as she tried gasping for her last breath. We all think she was waiting for my dad to arrive to be able to go home to Jesus. Finally that bad seizure took her once my dad finished speaking to her and took her last breath.


It's so hard to be writing this as you know how happy I was my mom was home after being away from us 2 months...but I'm so much more at peace right now arranging everything that has to be done to send her home. My sis and I just got back from getting her clothing and what not to take to the funeral home...it's still hasn't really sunk in...but I know Friday and Saturday will be the hardest. Just yesterday I went with Oscar to pick out her headstone and sign papers at the cemetery and see her final resting place and I was experiencing a nervous attack on my left side and my face was twitching and my heart was hurting...same side my mom was getting her seizures.

I wont get much more into it so I wont break down crying and get ill...the hardest is yet to come and I need to try and stay strong not only for myself and my kids...but for both my brother and sister who weren't there like I was.

As for my dad...his oldest daughter from his second marriage is taking him to live with her now which is sad he'll be gone...but it's also a GREAT thing she did. Of course when she said it as I was preparing my mom's clothes...it hit me hard and I started crying and what not because first I lost my mom and now my dad? ...but after some realization and not to mention calmed nerves...I knew it was the best not only for him...but for me as well. Now I can take care of ME and my kids and DH like I should be.

So until I can once again bring myself to stamping and what not...I'll be gone. Right now I need some rest so my body and mind can come together because my mind is far behind my body. I pray to God for the strength I need to help me get through all of this. My main thought right now is moving out of this house because the painful memories are everywhere. One day at a time though...one day at a time...

Hugs,

33 comments:

Perky Nihilist said...

You have my sincerest sympathies and you and your family will be in my prayers in the days and weeks to come.

So much of your time has been given to the care of your parents so I imagine the void of your loss will be so much larger for all the love and care you've shown.

Please take time for yourself to grieve, heal and process all you've been through.

You are such a wonderful daughter. Take Care.

Makiko Jones said...

Gabby...I know your mom was always happy that you are her daughter and she will look forward to meeting you again... I went through the same thing about 10 years ago. I know what you are going through right now.
I'm praying you and your family to finda a peace with this difficult time.

Jessica said...

I am so sorry for your loss Gabby. You are such an amazing person and I know that your mom is so proud of you for all that you have done. My thoughts are with you and your family during this very difficult time.

[HUGS]

Robin said...

Gabby,

I am so sorry to hear about your mamma! :-(

You are a awesomely strong woman and I'm praying that you will find peace. I wish I had the right words to say to help you through this time.

Please continue to take care of yourself. Please don't forget to drink lots of water and to eat properly.

{{HUGS}}

yoorah said...

Deepest sympathies my precious Gabby.

~*Joni said...

Oh Gabby, my heart and prayers go out to you and your entire family. I lost my dad 13+ years ago but we knew it was time to say goodbye. After his last breath, the whole room was at peace. Know that she loves you and is so grateful for everything that you did for her. Having your dad move in with his daughter is going to be hard, but just think how wonderful she was for offering that option. Not only do you have time to recuuperate, but she will have time to enjoy his company.
Hugs hugs Gabby, it's just goodbye for now.
Love always~

Nicola said...

Gabby, dear friend

You are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Now more than ever. I can't fully imagine the feelings you must have right now but I do believe I came very close just last year when I thought I was going to loose my dad. I pray you have the strength to make it through this tough time. Your dad going to live with his other daughter may be a blessing as you will be able to focus on you, Oscar and the kids. I wish I was closer to you at this hard time. Stay strong dear friend, stay strong. God bless.

Hugs
Nic

Anonymous said...

Oh my Dearest Gabbie, My heart goes out to you honey..I am so sorry about your beloved mom passing away..And now you must say good bye to your dad..As I have told you before, God has a special place in heaven for you, you are so kind and generous. How lucky you were to have such a loving mother, and how fortunate for her to have you to take care of her. I wish you comfort during your grief. The biggest hugs and love ..Your Deej..mwah

PaperCrafty said...

Gabby, I am so sorry for your loss! Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts & prayers. (((hugs)))

Sonya said...

Gabby my heart breaks for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.You were a wonderful daughter to your mother and I know it was hard on you..taking care of both of them..but you did and I know your mom was proud of you.

Saturday Edwins mom passed away and we are busy dealing with that aswell. We bury her on wednesday. If you need to chat Im only a e-mail away.
Take Care,
Sonya

Roxie said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you in these difficult times. Take a moment to reflect and remember your mom for all the wonderful things she meant to you. God bless.
Roxie (shrinky-dink)

Scrappy said...

Thinking and praying for you and your family Gabby! Please let us know if there is anything at all you need. {{{{{{{{HUGE HUGS!!!}}}}}}}} Scrappy

Cori S said...

I'm thinking of you Gabby.... my deepest sympathies.

Julie Temple said...

Oh Gabby, God Bless You ALL! My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Know that the love and care you provided made her life wonderful, and she will be waiting til you meet again.
I will keep you in my prayers, Hon, that you get thru your loss like you do everything else...Like a trooper! You have a wonderful husband and children who have blessed your life, and now you can again enjoy them 100%.
My heart goes out to you~

Hugs,
Julie

Cindy said...

My deepest sympathies go out to you at this time Gabby. I'm sure you will find the strength to get through it. Just know your mom is at peace and that she loved you all. Your dad is going where he maybe should be as you said time for you to look after Oscar and the kids. They are your family and will need you too. I do know its a tough road as I lost my dad last fall, but we always find a way, and it's what makes us stronger.
God Bless and Hugs to you all
Cindy

Melissa Craig said...

Oh honey, I am so sorry for your loss. No one wants to hear that she's better off, but she is. The saddest thing is those that are left behind. She's happy now Gabby. She's dancing among the stars, happy in heart that she was loved in her life.

Bigs hugs, lots of prayers. Love, Mel

the Purple One said...

Gabby, I am sorry that you had/have to go through all of this. Know your mom is watching and with you! Know she loves you too! I'm praying you have some peace in your heart.
Hugs, and then more hugs!
Keersten

Kelli said...

My Deerest Gabby.... I am truly sorry for your loss both of your Mom and Dad. God does his work in his ways and you are finding peace, you also found some special time in what you had with your Mom and Dad and learned SO much about them AND YOURSELF.... You are a STRONG WOMAN and I truly admire you and your strength. YOU MY PRECIOUS GREEN EYED HO ARE SPECIAL!!!!

Love and Hugs from Washington State,

Your PP Ho!

Angie said...

Gabby, take your time. Rest, breath and pray. Do what you need to do, but rely on God to get you through it all. HIS strength will get you through this. I will continue to pray for you and the whole family. I wish you didn't have to go through this pain, Gabby. Concentrate on the good. Your mom is happy, healthy, and in such a great place. We're all here for you Gabby.

Joani said...

My Dear friend Gabby ~ I know your pain. It is one of the hardest things in life to have to let go of a parent. I know that you are very strong willed and you will make it thru this. You are the rock of your family - but please know that it is ok to grieve. In your own time you will know when it is ok to come back, but please take care of you and your family first. And please know that I am here for you when and if you need a shoulder.
{{BIG}}Hugs to your and your family, Joani

Stampin' Meg said...

Oh Gabby-I am so sorry. I know how hard it is to lose your Mom. And even though it's the end of her suffering , it's still so awful to not have her. HUGE hugs to you. May the Lord bless your dear mother in her new home in heaven.

Susan aka "Crunchy" said...

Gabby I am so sorry. My heart hurts for you. You are an amazing daughter and have done so much for your mother. You are an inspiration for us all. I wish you peace throughout this tough time. xoxo

Melyssa said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss Gabby! My heart goes out to you and your family.
xoxo

Cyndi said...

Gabby - I'm so so sorry to hear about your lost. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You were a wonderful daughter and those are the memories your mother will take with you.

Love yah.... (((((((HUG)))))))

Neesey said...

Dearest Gabby,
My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. I have been following your blog and know it has been a rough road for you this past year. Be kind to yourself. Comfort yourself with happy memories.
Bless you

Summerthyme Studio said...

Sending you love and hugs at this sad time Gabby. Our Lord will cradle your mother safely in his arms and she will never be too far away from you.....you are strong and just take your time and look after you........everything else will fall into place.............

Vicki

Ann said...

You have my biggest sympathies. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Sending hugs your way...

GlitteryKatie said...

Oh Gabby- I'm so sorry you lost your Mom :(
Mommas are so special-but you are right she's at peace now. Stay positive Gabby - your Mom will always be with you.
sending you loads of love,
Kt x

Bobbie said...

Dearest Gabby..my deepest sympathy to you and your family. You have been such a good daughter for both your mom and dad.Many prayers are bieng said for you and your family. Take care of your self now so you don't get sick.
Angel Hugs...Bobbie

Angie said...

Hi Gabby,
I've been thinking a lot about you and checking in to see if you're back to blog-land yet. Well, I am still praying for you and your family and BTW, some of your TGF cards are showcased on the club Anya blog today! Missing you and your posts, and praying for you, Angie

Stampingcaz said...

So sorry to read your news, I know what its like to have to decide the time is now. We had to do it for my Dad :(
Biggest Hugs to you
Cazx

Katie Cotton said...

i'm so behind. I am SO sorry to read of your mom's passing. You are in my thoughts and prayers hun!

Donna said...

{{{hugs}}} so sad to hear of your mom's passing. I know how hard it is to lose a parent (I lost both by age 25) take care!