5.05.2009

MIA~WARNING OF A RANT AND/OR WHINE!!!

Hey ya'll! Just wanted to check in to let you know I'm still around...just so much to do and so little time and not to mention my brain is in a fog! I can't seem to function very well since my mom's been in the hospital. I'm being served up a nice full bowl of stress. First...and I want to advise you...if you do not like my whinning or rants...stop reading because I feel a ranting and whinning coming up.

So on Friday, May 1st I got a call from my mom that she was coming home. Cool I thought...I guess she's well enough NOW to actually come home. Ha...NO! So I go to pick her up and the nurse was showing me how to change her gauze from the operation when it gets dirty and what not and told me what I had to help her with etc. etc... Ok...so I thought if the nurse is OK with her being released...I guess she IS ok to go home. So here we are...my mom could NOT even put on her clothes without clamoring in pain...nurse says..."oh...that's normal". Ok...I know pain is normal after surgery...I've had it myself. So I help get her dressed...combed her hair and put on her socks and shoes. Great! So now we're waiting almost 30 minutes for the wheelchair transportation to come and my mom is on the phone with my uncle. He told her she was crazy to be going home. He had a surgery on his back himself and told her she needs at least a couple more weeks in there to get the therapy needed. So my moms like "oh, I've been walking and I'm fine".

Now...transportation comes and he took her to my car and seeing as how I was having trouble getting my mom into the car with a bad back myself...he just left us...NO HELP AT ALL...at 9 o'clock at night and it was raining...slowly drops...but still!!!!! AMAZING! So here I am crying in pain and asking God for his power to send me the strength I needed to get her in...cause trust me...this lady is tiny...BUT SHE'S HEAVY!!! So finally I was able to get her in and as I sat at the sterring wheel I got a nervous attack. I was shaking and crying because I knew she wasn't ready. Something told me she lied to get out and since it's in "her rights" she could ask for a leave. Anywho...after relaxing myself and taking in a few deep breaths I drove us home. Getting her in was hard...but getting her out was actually easier. I put a step stool down for her (I have an Expedition) and she got down with no problem...walked to the first step at out door with her walker with no problem...got up the first small step and then came the second small step...she couldn't do it anymore. She could NOT take the next step into the house because she was in pain.

So here I am once again nervous as hell that I couldn't get her up. And mind you...no one else here at our home could help me...my dad is 87 and could have easily fell on her instead of helping...and then there's my kids! Oscar was at work...so I had to call him and tell him to come home because it was an emergency! So here is my mom still not being able to get into the house...not even with MY help carrying her and so she decided she would just crawl instead. SO she crawled in as slowly as she could and then stopped cause she couldn't go anymore. What seemed like an eternity later...Oscar arrived and we BOTH tried pulling her up at least to a sitting posotion to the couch but she was just too heavy and we were afraid of hurting her more AND not just that...but hurting her cut!!! I sad to Oscar...if we can at least get her into bed...I can work from there...but we couldn't! She tried many times to get up again but said she couldn't...that's when she told me she lied to the doctor that she was ready to come home and that she had a nurse at home to care for her! WHAT??? Was she INSANE??? She said she lied because she was worried about my dad and she missed my kids! I about almost collapsed from the nerves when she told me that!

So Oscar decided...'you know what...she has to go back'. Since we couldn't pick her up...we had to call for an ambulance. They saw how she was and one of the EMT's told her to NEVER pull a stunt like that...that what good was she gonna do by coming home and getting into the risk of getting WORST instead of better for her husband. So finally she said crying to them that she was sorry and to please take her back. SOOOO...she's there again and this time I was very strict with her doctor who released her. I even told him that he could be sued for not checking her thru to make sure she WAS ok...but my mom is of right mind and she had her intentions soooo *rolls eyes*...still! So after I calmed down and was able to speak to him in a calm state...I asked him if there was any way he can help me either find a nurse to come to the house to help giver her the physical therapy she needs here OR to put her in a temporary nursing home. So he said those were good choices knowing I can't give her what she needs right now...not only because I also have a bad back...but because I wouldn't be able to focus on just her because of my dad, kids, and home responsabilities. So hopefully today we find out what's gonna happen and we'll go from there! I'm actually hopeing for a nurse to come here because I have NO IDEA how we'll be able to afford a home right now...a nurse to come and get paid...that's cheaper. So...now you see why I haven't been on here much! I have made cards when I have the time to just sit and de-stress myself...but I just haven't had the energy to come on here and actually post them.

So...if you read all of that...WOW! I thank you for putting up with it! Seriously! I wish I had something happy to show you...but soon...I promise! Thank you so much for listening and I'm still praying and I know that this is being put in my path to see how strong I really am...yes Dear Lord...I know it's you putting this in my path...and I thank you for it! It's making me a much more responsible woman and teaching me to have lots more patience. Yes I'm stressed...but I'm still here! Thank you Lord!

P.S. I have some used stamp sets for sale right now. They are in great condition and I could really use the help selling them right about now. The link is just below the header. I'll probably be adding more stuff...but for now...that's all I have. If you want a picture of the actual set...wood and rubber...please let me know. Believe me...it's actually EMBARASSING to me to have to add this P.S....but I have to humble myself to actually post it because I'll need every cent right now to pay for my mom's care. Her MediCal alone wont cover it all. PLEASE...do NOT feel any pressure to buy if you don't need to or really want to. I know how the economy is right now...I just wanted to post it JUST IN CASE you know. Thanks and HUGS!

15 comments:

Cori S said...

wow hun... I'm sorry! :(

~*Joni said...

Gabby, I read through every single word that you typed. I have to say that your mommy is one feisty woman! No wonder that's how you are! ;) I am not trying to make light of anything, but for her to lie in order to be back in the comfort of her home and family is very sassy. I am so glad she complied and went back in to the hospital. I would look into some volunteer respite care in your area, nurses who would come and visit periodically out of the goodness of their hearts. Since we've had quite an experience in the medical world, I can tell you that the resources (inexpensive or free) are amazing. Granted it will take some paper work and signatures verifying the situation, but the availability is there! I wish I could come over and help you out, I would take the kiddos to my house, bring dinner over, and do laundry if needed. I feel so far away from you! :( I am sending you some great big hugs, know that I care and will continue praying for healing and normalcy in your life soon. Thank you for being such a role model as a daughter, wife and mom. Although it's not easy, you do it with such love and grace. YOU ARE AMAZING!! Don't forget to drink lots of water...

Gael said...

Oh Gabby! I feel for you and I feel for your mom who missed you all so much she put herself in danger.

I would think there would be a social worker or discharge assistant that could help you find the at-home help you need. If your Mom is truly home-bound (and it sure sounds as though she would be) Her MediCare should cover it. (Unless she has managed MediCare which is another story) Either way, you and your DH are NOT responsible to pay her bills (though with managed MC that may be the only way for you to get some services.) There are also organizations available that help cover costs for respite care and day care. I know what they are in CT but not in CA.

Talk to your hospital Social Worker, they are very helpful, and be sure to ask about every possible contingency of help you may need. Don't try to do it all yourself!!

Good luck, Hon!!

Stampin' Meg said...

Geez Lousie Gabby- There should have been an order for clearance by physical therapy that she was ready for home let alone safe to go home!(That way even if she was fibbing- they could have seen from working with her that she didn't have the physical endurance to do it!)
Make sure that the discharge planner talks to YOU next time before she goes home!

Jessica said...

Goodness, you have been going through a lot! You and your mom are in my thoughts and I hope that everything works out with her medical care. Make sure to make a little time for you, you deserve it!

*hugs*

Nicola said...

Bad Mommy, what was she thinking. She could have made things so much worse. And the fact that they let her when lets face it she clearly wasn't ready. They should know the timeline for recovery for something like this and know she wasn't ready.

Sending you lots of prayers and hugs. You are one strong lady. I really do wish I lived closer to you hun. You have my email, I'm on messenger with it just drop me a ping anytime, K.

Hugs
Nic

yoorah said...

{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS GABBY}}}}}}}}} :( Prayers headed your way!

CRYSTAL said...

OMGoodness, girl. I dont even know how you have the strenght to type what you did, but in a way it was probably cathartic. Glad your mom is back in hospital so she can actually get better, faster. I wish I was closer to help you out any way I could...Prayers and thoughts are with you!!!!!!
Hugs!!!!

Anita Hovey said...

Gabby, I don't know what to say...I'm so sorry you're going through all this. I have a bad back too, so I have some idea waht you're going through...somedays I can barely lift my 6 yo, let alone my Mom. I'll keep thinking of you and at least you got her back to where she should be.

Robin said...

Gabby,
I am amazed at how well you are coping with all the stress you have been under!

Please take care of yourself.

{{{HUGS}}}

Angie said...

I'm going to be keeping youo guys in my prayers. My Grandma lived in Cali before moving in with my Mom and she is required to have 24 hour care because of her Alzheimer's and other issues. I know there are things to help you out with costs, I'll email my mom and ask if she still has the info. Just keep on praying and leaning on HIM and you'll all get through this!

Joani said...

Oh Gabby. I'm so sorry. That's awful. I myself don't trust any doctors or hospitals after what happened with my Father.

Please take care of yourself too, that's important. Very important!

Maybe try to get a hold of the hospital and get in touch with home health. Mom had that for Dad. They come out and help out and check on them. It's a start. I can see if Mom has more info.

Take care dear friend, I'm praying for you.
Hugs,
Joani

Melissa Craig said...

Oh honey - what you're going through. I am so sorry but I am glad that your Mom acquiesced and went back to the hospital. It's sounds like that EMT had a bit of sass himself (herself).

I am thinking about you, praying for you, wishing I could hug you and cook for your family.

Not ever far from my thoughts.

Hugs, Mel

Katie Cotton said...

oh big hugs for you girl!

Maria said...

Oh Gabby. . I'm sorry to hear of the rough time your are experiencing. Considering I'm an RN, I KNOW how difficult it is. It is difficult to carry someone even a light person and I'm shocked to hear that transport did not assist you. That's horrible and I really do think you need to make a complaint about that. The person should have at least assisted you to help your mom get in the car.

As for your mom lying about feeling better. . .that happens a lot in the hospital and well, most times doctors have to rely on a patient's word but he should have re-evaluated your mom further. But you know how these insurance goes. . .they won't pay and the limit many times is set in stone. Unfortunately the hospital has to either eat the cost or the patient does or sadly, let the patients go home even if they are not truly ready.

I've had patients leave in 3 days when they clearly are not well enough to leave. But "kind of well" is sometimes well enough for a hospital to discharge a patient as long as they don't have an infection or something like that.

It's sort of a catch 22. It's much better for patients to recover at home than in a hospital. The longer a patient stays in the hospital, the longer it seems that patient heal or more likely to get an infection. Hospitals are a breeding ground for infections. On the other hand, it puts a heavy burden on loved ones.

Anyway, most important. .take care of yourself. You need to be healthy to care for your mom.

I wish your mom the very best and a speedy recovery!!

Maria