BYE ALL and together again...RIP dear mom and dad!

If you're here for Tuesday Morning Sketches...please scroll to the post below. Thanks!

Ok...as many of you have already known for a while now...I will have no internet services come Wednesday morning. I will only be able to check in when I find some ways to get online. One for sure though is when I visit with my MIL on Sundays...well...every other Sunday. We just went this past Sunday...so... I will miss being online with my friends inside my computer...but in a way it's a blessing in disguise. I will not only be caring for myself in trying to control my anxiety/panic attacks...but I will also find time to find peace with all that's going on in my life. From this absence I plan on becoming a much better person...mentally. I do hope I can come back strong and hold my head up high because as of right now...I feel as if I'm being kicked and stomped on while I'm on the floor. Thank you so much for being there and for your amazing support throughout my tough times! God Bless you all for being there.

If you don't want to hear my rant...stop reading here. Once again my dad's daughter is at it opening her snake mouth talking trash about me with my own sister. The F'd up part is that my sister knows who this snake is and "kinda" believes her. No one but me knows the things this 'woman' has put me though since a bit before my mom passed and more after. Not only did she just up and take my dad away from me...but she's accused me of things that just made me wanna hurl. She even tried swindling money from us. Now she's lying saying that she told me my dad passed away and I didn't care to call her to find out information...is she serious? She called me on my birthday letting me know my dad was dying and didn't give me ANY information at all. I even called to ask for info and nothing...nothing at all. Up 'til today I thought my dad was still alive...I thought he had pulled through. He was a fighter so I thought he'd pull through like he has many times before. Now she calls me today to tell me my dad's services are on Saturday??? WHAT??? Turns out my dad passed away on my birthday!!! While I was outside with my neighbor who made me a cake and I was blowing out candles...my dad had passed... She called the next day (Feb. 3rd) asking for her own brothers number and didn't mention a word about my dad passing. She's telling my sister I need to grow up and face the truth and stop my lying...WHAT???... You all don't know...I am at the point where I just wish I could magically disappear from all this BS. All these attacks on me now that my mom is gone and I feel alone! Even my "family" is lying to my sister about me saying they call me but that I don't return their call? I haven't heard from my family (more so my aunt) since we last saw each other at the cemetery on Dia De Los Muertos...and she's the one saying she's called??? I'm not mentally right to be dealing with all of this. I wish I was that once strong girl who didn't give a crap about what others said about me. I wish I was that me again. I miss that girl...but I'm not her anymore. Once I became a parent...I left all of that behind...I decided to be a soft, warm, nice, God fearing woman... I may need to revert though and still keep my faith and be that hard ass and still fear the Lord. I hope I can deal with losing both my parents in less than a year. I do feel some peace though...knowing they are together again.

Well...here is a slideshow of my mom and dad etc... That's how I'm picturing them right now...celebrating they are once again reunited. As much as it hurts me not to have them...this alone makes me smile and know I'll have both of them looking over us. *smile*

Rest In Peace dear Mother and Father
(click on their names for their memorials)
MOM *10/12/36 - 6/19/2009* DAD *3/24/22 - 2/02/2010*

My God I am so sorry for spilling like this! The ONLY thing that does make me happy is knowing that my mom and dad are both together once again...just like it's meant to be. I can already see the 2 of them dancing in heaven and just being in love again even though they had some rough patches in between! Alright...I think I've said enough... Not to mention that's not even the tip of the drama... *rolls eyes*

Once again sorry for spilling like this and I wanna thank EVERYONE who's been there since the beginning. I will miss you guys but I'll try to stay in touch as much as possible. SMOOCHERS and see you guys in a bit! Hope I don't lose you when I come back! I'll come looking for you if you leave! ;)


Melissa Craig said...

Better out than in Gabby! Don't keep things bottled up, I think that would increase the onset of another panic attack. Stay strong hon! Go to the library, you can get online for free there. If you have a flash drive, you can still upload photos and maybe post to your blog every now and then.

Lots of love and hugs.

Stempelientje said...

I am so sorry you have to go through such a difficult time Gabby.Thanks also for sharing,that deserves a lot of respect.
I hope better and happier times will ly ahead of you, you are in my thought.

Greetinga and a hug all the way from Holland from Stempelientje.

Country Mouse said...

I will be praying for you. I pray for God to give you peace and comfort. I am so sorry for your loss and your troubles. Take care of yourself and I wish you the best. God bless you...many hugs, audrey

Naoual said...

Hi Gabby, I'm so sorry to read all this cr*p they're putting you trough. Believe me, I know a lot more about 'family' issues than I'd care to, and it really sucks that people who are supposed to be there for you try to mess up your life instead. Ugh.
Sometimes it's better to get it all out of your system than keeping it bottled up.

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope to see you post again soon!! Take care of yourself and beautiful family honey. Stay strong and Keep your head UP!!

Big Hugs, Naoual xx

Stephanie J said...

Hey there, Ms. Gabby! I'll be thinking of you while you're MIA - but it sounds like you've given yourself a good goal while you're gone. You wanna email me your mailing addy before you disappear? I've got something I need to send you. Take care - and try to be strong. You know we're all rooting for you!


Shazia Wall said...

Gabby, I hear your pain, dear. Lying can cause so much pain and the omission of your Father death is terrible. I hope she will knows that God is just and that will affect her in the end not you.
You are a great women and will be continually blessed by your faith in God.

Jennifer said...

I'll keep you in my prayers Gabby. You are a strong woman and will get through this. Big Hugs, Jennifer.

☼ Cheryl* said...

Hi Gabby,

Im so sorry you have to go through all this. I really hope you have someone to talk to offline to take your mind of it all when it gets too much. RIP to your Mom and Dad as you say at least they are together again as I am sure they would want to be.
I don't know how people can call themselves Family to do these kinds of things to you....
Take care and I hope you are back soon feeling good xxxx

WickedPixie said...

Gabby, you have got to get it off your chest! You know there is a huge group of us wishing good things for you, right? Try to take this time off as a blessing (I know that's hard) and relax and know we will be here when you are able to get back! Big hugs, Traci

Sheng said...

I know what you're going through. As a Hmong woman, we often get the blame for many things even though they may not be true. Let it all out. This will help. Try your very best not to let what other people say get to you. I know it's hard to do that but that is the only way you can beat them. If you let whatever they say hurt you, it will eat you alive. You know the truth and they surely know the truth. It's what people tell themselves that makes them able to sleep at night.

Best wishes for you and yours truely.

xoxo hugz

Angie said...

I'll miss you in blogland, but I'll see you when you come back! I'm sorry for all you have been and are going through. Lean on HIM and you'll get through. God is always there, no matter the circumstance. Love you Gabby-Girl!

Sheri (a.k.a PaperCrafty) said...

Gabby, I am so sorry to hear about your dad!! You will be greatly missed and I hope that you will be able to get some peace!! (((hugs)))

Katie Cotton said...

big hugs and prayers to you gabby! Stay strong! I miss you!